Lewd Awakening

Here at laydowntheSLACK, we LOVE sleep. But why constrain something we all love so much purely to the dark night-time hours? We strongly recommend staying up all night on YOUR time, and make mad cash whilst you nap at the office/outside the office/in a gutter.

Feel free to find all the glorious ways to abscond from actual waking work by any means necessary. If this means that your particular naps must be had in the walk in freezer at work, hidden behind crates of meat and milk cartons, then make sure to buy a good coat.

Here are some tips and scenarios that we recommend:

• Avoid the many hour power-nap, nap for most of the day, by all means, but break it into segments. If your co-workers see you about once an hour with a cup of (stale, fake) coffee, then you can bet they'll assume the stains on your keyboard are from finger-mashing, honest (despicable) real, hard work, and not from the drooling that we all know you do. This brings us to our next point:
  
• Coffee. Always, always have a 1/2 full coffee mug around. And not one of those disposable cups from the break room either, but the most ostentatious mug or thermos you can find. This makes you look like a seasoned veteran of the caffeine world, giving off that "I am always awake, and no, these jitters are not from Parkinson's" vibe that you want to deflect any unnecessary attention.
  
• If you ever find yourself in a situation without your trusty mug/thermos, make sure to have a backup - legal pads and an array of pens. If you stroll by your boss on accident at the office and he sees you wandering aimlessly, well, you are beyond reproach at that point. Worry not friend, for simply wander lackadaisically with a legal pad and a pen, and suddenly you are the hard worker on an errand. Do not forget to scribble (as messily as possible) some bogus notes on a pad beforehand, you can keep it for many, many uses if the notes are vague enough.

These are a few introductory tips to avoiding attention on your way to your favorite spot of tranquility to catch a few winks. I prefer my car myself, but please, always remember to move it one parking lot over to avoid the boss catching you in it on his way back from lunch.