Get The Red Out

This guy would be gopher for the boss in no-time with a flayboyant colored outfit and those "stylish" sunglasses, no?




Here is a quick gander at what not to do if you want to remain
unmolested at work/home/anywhere you go.

• While that bright pink tie may "look great" according to your mother, we definitely do NOT recommend wearing bright colors at work. Think of nature and how many creatures remain uneaten because they are camouflaged and blend in to anonymity. Never, on the flip side, actually wear camo to work.(big no)
  
• At work, to blend in, ALWAYS be in motion at your desk WHEN you hear footfalls coming your way. If you look like you are the middle of something important, you certainly cannot be bothered with whatever mundane task someone may be coming to drop off for you.
• Around the house, to blend in, NEVER be in motion if you hear mom/the girlfriend/boyfriend/dog coming your way. Family members are like birds, they do not detect your presence nearly as much unless movement is present.
  
• If you detect someone you absolutely cannot stand heading your way, make sure you can train your arm to have your cellphone out of your pocket and to your head in milli - no, micro - yes, microseconds. Make sure to rehearse a very compelling and loud businesslike conversation to the point that everyone thinks you are the toughest analyst in the world. And, if said person/persons are not your coworkers, always pretend to be someone much more important than you are. We are quite often the "CEO of Intechdesign, inc."(multimillionaires extraordinaire)

Whatever you do, never accidentally piss off THAT GUY. He is the one guy who, once you are on his bad side, will always, always make sure you are working. This is the person you want to be best friends with, the office asshole. If you can appease him with a bad joke at the water cooler once a day, it is supremely worth looking up a few pathetic one-liners to have on hand to do so.